Lori brings up some stuff that many people don't like to talk about. Lori talks about it because she wants you to be prepared in the event you have a hard time with early breastfeeding. You will know you are not alone and you will know the importance of early intervention.
Lori talks about her breastfeeding mantra: "It is not suppose to hurt." If it does, get help. There is no need to suffer for days while you are waiting for it to get better. There are some things that you do want to wait it out and see if it gets better. Breastfeeding is not one of them. What motivates Lori? The facts! Listen as she shares with you the details about breastfeeding initiation in our country and how this changes as the weeks and months go on after birth and how this impacts breastfeeding. Lori talks about how there is no reason why mothers should be suffering with painful breasts and nipples when breastfeeding. If trauma has been created, please get help ASAP to stop from getting worse. There are many barriers to breastfeeding, particularly when it comes to returning to work. Please check out the below links from the World Health Organization and the Infographs they provide. You may get some ideas from this info and you might want to discuss these with your employer.
Jessica is from New Jersey. She always had an interest in womens issue and social justice issues. She was a Peace Corp volunteer, helped start up and franchise a non-profit organization, has her MBA, led her to Tom’s Shoes and built and ran the One for One program. She was the first woman to have a baby in the job. Her kids are now 5 and 2 years old now. There was so much to know about being a breastfeeding mom and pumping and returning to work and coordinating it all. She likes solving problems and the information she desperately needed, she just could not find. So, she decided to be the one to write the book she could not find. My first big trip once I returned to work was taking a trip to Nepal, without my son. I learned a lot of practical tips along the way. Like what to do when you are in a hotel room and they tell you they don’t have another refrigerator. Well, you lie! Tell them it is a medical need because when you ask nicely it is easy for them to turn you down. So you lie a little. And a medical need is respected and all of a sudden you will get a refrigerator.
Jessica felt a lot of pressure that was put on her by others to exclusively breastfeed her baby, and also the pressures she put on herself. She became quite manic and this greatly affected her maternity leave. She sought help and was prescribed a pill which caused her a really bad reaction. She describes her maternity leave as a really horrible time for her as her anxiety and panic attacks escalated. Jessica reached out to a lactation consultant and told her she was having major problems, high anxiety and unfortunately this lactation consultant did not do her justice at all. She made her feel bad by saying that she needed to keep breastfeeding to get her son past the flu months. Jessica continued to do so, but surely put her mental health at a major risk. Jessica talks about what she did during her next pregnancy to prepare for her next pp experience. She basically told her husband and a few friends that they were in charge of her mental health because she felt she could not think clearly and objectively during that time period. Very smart on her part. Jessica gives some great tips on how to approach your boss or manager or HR person regarding your need to pump.
Here are a few of my favorite things:
My Brest friend pillow:
Yes, there are lots of breastfeeding pillows on the market. Not all pillows work well for all mothers. I find that My Brest Friend works well for a nice amount of woman.
Selling points:
The adjustable strap with a release clip that is silent so you don’t wake up a sleeping baby when you want to remove the pillow. I like the firm, flatt front cushion. When you strap on the pillow, you have this nice firm surface and it stays put. There is no gap between you and your baby, which is what I find, happens a lot with other pillows. It wraps around your body, you can make it nice and snug and it provides good back support, which is also something that is sorely missing with many pillows. https://www.mybrestfriend.com/
Babywearing….
f any kind slings and wraps and front and back structured carriers. It is one of my favorite ways for moms and dads and caregivers to spend quality time with their baby particularly when holding them for an extended period of time.
1. You will notice that many baby love to be held,,, even when they are well fed and burped and with a fresh diaper. They will still fuss when you put them down. Why? Because they have had a steady supply of rocking and soothing sounds of mom’s heartbeat in utero. Now on the outside, they crave touch, smell, rhythm, rocking, soothing voice, just the right temperature and babywearing provides all this for baby. On the adult side of things, it can be pretty tiring on your back and neck and arm muscles to hold a baby, without support for long periods of time. Wrap your baby around you and you have solved many problems.
Boba wrap is one of my faves for first time moms. It looks complicated, but it is easy to figure out. After about the 10th practice session, you will be good at it. So, don’t be scared when you look at this long piece of material and think: how am I going to figure this out? I love the Boba Wrap particularly for newbies at babywearing. You can wear a baby from 5 to 30 pounds in the Boba Wrap. It is nice and comfy for mom and baby, rolls up in a bunch, very portable and it is priced right with some really nice solide colors. Don’t want to spend too much or too complicated with first time moms.
Skin to Skin: This is a fabulous way to love, nurture and connect with newborns and anyone can do it and it cost nothing. Premature babies greatly benefit with Kangaroo care where their parents wear their babies for several hours each day. Research has shown that when you tuck a baby in skin to skin, upright, they respond really well. Their breathing is better regulated, it improves oxygen levels, they sleep better, gain weight quicker, cry less, quicker to go home. We now have numerous well researched studies that show how bneficial the practice of STS is to health premature babies, which is why many hospitals encourage parents to spend time with their babies STS. Your baby does not have to have been born early to benefit from skin to skin. Previous it was thought that only premature babies benefited from STS, but now the research backs up what parents have intuitively know for years. STS contact for healthy newborns is beneficial to their physical and emotional regular at the time of birth. For millions of years mothers have kept their babies safely tucked in with them after birth. It is only in the last 100 years or so that mothers and babies have been separated.
When I teach BF classes, I am like a pain in the tush as parents have to hear me say some of the same things over and over. One of them is,,, keep the baby with the mommy, keep the baby with the mommy. If there is no medical reason to separate mom and baby, just don’t. Your baby is born, tuck your baby in with your, keep nice and warm with blanket wrapped around both of you. This helps to regulate their breathing, temperature, sleep, and helps that baby is right there when he/she begins to cue for breastfeeding. Bathing and clothing and putting on hats and swaddling babies and passing them around to family members does not help with early breastfeeding… so this is why STS is one of my favorite things. And if mom is unable to provide STS, then Dad or another close family member can.
Books for Breastfeeding: I have quite a few favorites and will talk about some of the others in future shows. I am choosing these first two as they are my favorites for helping moms prepare for a good start with breastfeeding. They cover a lot, in an easy to read fashion, without being technical and too many pages. I want you to be able to pick up a book and not be overwhelmed.
BFMade Simple – Nancy Mohrbacher – Great book, practical advise on getting started with breastfeding, easy to read and does cover some of the not so popular challenges that mothers have in the early days and on through weaning problems.
The Ultimate Book of Breastfeeding Answers – by Dr. Jack Newman and Teresa Pitman – I list this as one of my favorite books because it is filled with practical advise about breastfeeding and provides solutions for common problems that may arise for the new mother. One of the reasons I like this book is because it does not just tell you what you should do, it explains the reason behind the advice. There are lots of misinformation and myths circulating out there in cyberspace and Dr. Jack Newman spends time making sure the reader understands what is true and what you need to pay attention to and what you should ignore. Of course, one might say that I am plugging these two books because they have said yes to being a guest on my show. Perhaps, but it is really the other way around. It is because I love their books and respect their work so highly, that I reached out to them and asked them to be a guest. Don’t worry, I will let you know when their shows are going to be released.
Mother Support Groups: If you know me, you will know that I am a huge fan of Mothers Support Groups. Mothering is one of the hardest things most of us will ever do in our lives. I have asked mothers all over the world, who are in many different professions, and no matter how hard their paying job is, they will all say that Mothering is one of the most important jobs they will ever do in their lifetime and it is one of the most hardest jobs they will ever do in their lifetime. Mothers groups provides support, information, friendship and a safe place to go and talk about your stuff.
On a National level, listeners of All About Breastfeeding already know that Mom-mentum is my favorite organization that offers Mothers groups. You have heard me talk about Mom-mentum on many of my shows. My mission is to help support this organization and help them grow more Mother Centers around the country. On a local level, with a little bit of research you can find a mothers group that best fits your needs. Breastfeeding mothers groups meet regularly with La Leche League and in your local hospital or birthing centers. Groups like Mom-mentum that are mother centered, not only for BF mothers, can often be found in your community as well. Check out your local library and hospital for what they offer.
Online Virtual Breastfeeding Mothers Group, I have the perfect solution for moms who cannot make it out of the house to attend a group. Perhaps you live in an area where you just cannot find a group., or realistically it is just too far to drive, or you just want the convenience of not having to leave the house, you can join the All About Breastfeeding Online Virtual Breastfeeding Mothers Group, which is specifically for pregnant woman who are planning on breastfeeding and mothers who are in the early months of breastfeeding. Detailed information can be found at allaboutbreastfeeding.biz/support
PSI – Postpartum Support International was founded in 1987 by Jane Honikman in Santa Barbara, CA. The purpose of the organization is to increase awareness among public and professional communities about the emotional changes that women experience during pregnancy and postpartum. This organization and their volunteers really cares about the emotional health of all mothers and have systems and information in place so that you can get the help you need. PSI has volunteer coordinaters all over the US and 36 other countries. There is a free helpline, a membership directory, and lots of resources and education.
This organization provides help during your pregnancy months and your postpartum period. They let you know you are not alone and they take action to help you, get the help you need if you feel like you are in a state of crisis. I have facilitated several hundred mothers groups and am currently interviewing mom in this podcast. If you are a steady listener, you will note that one of the most common themes mothers express are the very strong feelings and emotions they go through during the pp period, which is not just a few weeks after the birth, but up to a whole year later.
Some it is feelings of sadness, lots of crying, some depression and others it is major anxiety, wanting to not eat or having problems sleeping and it is interfering with their joy of new motherhood and some moms have expressed the extreme side of ppd which has caused them extreme highs and lows and the need for medical intervention. Most talk about not getting help because either they or there partner of family member had no idea what was g oing on, or they secretly knew, but did not address it with anyone because of the perceived stigma surrounding this. I want you to know that you are not alone and there is help.
Happier a podcast by Gretchin Rubin : I first got turned on to Gretchen Rubin when I read her book, The Happiness Project. It is a great book and one I found very helpful. The beginning was a good read, just getting into her mindset about how and why she even wrote a book about Happiness was fascinating to me. When I found out that she had a podcast also, I was thrilled. She co-hosts it with her sister Elizabeth and every show I pick up little tidbits of useful information and on top of that, they make me laugh. Their latest episode a the time of this podcast is: You can’t make me and neither can i. If this intrigues you, be sure to check out there show.
Elisabeth tells us that her mother breastfed all 6 of her children. She has memories of her mother breastfeeding her little sister. Elisabeth grew up in Tuscon, is married , lives in Phoenix and has 2 adult children. She had an emergency cesarean section and tried to breastfeed her son several hours after his birth. She became upset and spent some time crying because she was trying hard to breastfeed but she could not get her son to latch on. She spoke to her nurse and requested the help of a lactation specialist who could help her with breastfeeding. And the nurse took her crying baby from her arms and she said out loud to my newborn baby, “your mommy is so mean, she won’t feed you.” I burst into tears. The Lactation Consultant figured out that he was putting his tongue on the roof of his mouth and she helped Elisabeth with latch and within 24 hours her son was breastfeeding well and it went easy from that point on. Chase is now 19 years old, and yet Elisabeth clearly remembers the nurse who said such harsh words, all these years later. Elisabeth stopped nursing when her babies got teeth. She just did not know that you can get through this period with some help. Elisabeth offers valuable and insightful information and advise on how pregnant moms can manage their eating habits thoughout their pregnancy. Extreme eating habits are often born out of morning/afternoon/evening/all around sickness and the times when pregnant moms are so hungry and have to fight off urges to eat high carbs and sweets. She offers some great tools and skills to help us deal with stress and anxiety during pregnancy. This info is practical and no cost and is real helpful for any time during our life.
Susan is the 31 year old mother. Her son John is 2 1/2 and they continue to enjoy a breastfeeding relationship. This does not seem unusual for Susan as she knows she was breastfed until she was 3 years old. Susan planned a home birth with her husband Robert, midwife and midwives assistant and doula at the birth. Her son weighed 9 lbs. 4 oz. Breastfeeding for her was something that was not an option and was just something she knew she would do. Susan shares how she navigated the very early days of newborn breastfeeding. She was initially concerned when her baby did not seem to be hungry the first 4 hours. She did realize though that he needed to rest, he pooped and then all of a sudden he was interested in eating and they never looked back. It took her a few weeks until she felt like she found her groove with breastfeeding. It took her a little time to find what positions were most comfortable with John and what felt right for her. While Susan was never approached by a store owner who asked her to not breastfeed in their store, she shares with us her prepared speech if that should ever happen! She also feels that it is very important to find a pediatrician that fully supports breastfeeding.
New stuff learned about Jessica. She is a twin! Her mother did breastfeed her and her siblings for about 6 months each. Now that Jessica has breastfed two babies, she can really appreciate the fact that her mother breastfed twins. Jessica grew up in South Eastern Pennsylvania She met her husband in college and carried on a long distance relationship. The day after she graduated college, the moving truck came and she left for Rhode Island to be with him. She had her first baby Nathan a few years later and Lucy just 3 months ago. She started her business when she was pregnant with Nathan and has been working from home, until just recently when she started working from an office from outside the home. Jessica shares a lot about her early breastfeeding experience with Nathan. At a certain point, she realized that she had an abundant milk supply and shares some funny stories about milk leaking and milk spraying and brings lots of humor to her breastfeeding experience. Jessica wants to encourage other mothers to breastfeed around other family members and friends. She agrees this is what we need to happen in order to help normalize breastfeeding. The critics are allowed, but they are in the minority.
This week Lori talks about meeting Stacy, who was tearful and exhausted when she came in for her consult. She talked about having a good breastfeeding experience with her first baby and yet with her second baby, she was in so much pain. Stacy was not quite sure if she could continue breastfeeding as it was really taking it’s toll on her. Lori shares how she was able to help Stacy understand why breastfeeding her baby was so painful. She was able to help her understand what an immediate care plan would look like while she was working on resolving her breastfeeding issues. While this was certainly far from the most interesting or difficult lactation problems Lori has dealt with, it was one that she remembers quite vividly. It represents what all mothers want – They just want the simplicity of being a mom and being able to breastfeed their baby, in comfort and joy. With all the tools and tricks of the trade and the care plans we give moms, and sometimes it seems to complicated, all she wants is to simply breastfeed her baby.
Eve went to school for music and graduated as a classically trained vocalist and graduated with a music degree. She had every intention of going to NY and becoming rich and famous. Six months after graduation she realized that was not going to happen. Needing to pay the bills she got a job with Quickbooks. In Sept of 2001, her sister was suppose to be on Flight 93 and she lost 30% of her clients that day. Mad and angry, she joined the Navy. Eve planned on making that a career, but after the birth of her first baby, she realized she could not deploy. So, she went into the reserves, went back to Quickbooks. After the traumatic birth of her first baby for which was diagnosed with PTSD, she decided she wanted a very different experience with her second and planed a homebirth, she encapsulated her placenta and went “full on” crunchy and this was life changing.
This week Lori talks about some of the exciting shows that are coming up over the next few weeks. Lori shares with All About Breastfeeding listeners that not all shows are going to be with all women as she has interviewed a few guys and they will be sharing some interesting information and personal thoughts about their experiences in the breastfeeding world.
Brandy grew up in a traditional household for the time. Her Dad worked outside the home and her mother was a stay at home until she returned to school years later and became an RN. She feels good about being brought up in a family with strong work ethics and with a philosophy that said: family is everything. She is the middle child, with brother 4 years older and another brother 4 years younger than her. Brandy made me laugh when she revealed that as a youngster she wanted to own a candy store. As a young adult, she wanted to be a lawyer, however, ultimately went to school and became educated in HR work. There was something about everything being black and white that really attracted me to the law. However, I eventually became involved with HR and started my own content writing firm and Mom-mentum became a client of mine. I Was member first after the birth of my second baby. Had first baby and allow as okay and had lots of control and 5 yers later, experiencedm ore of a challenge than having the fist child. Looking for support and like minded mothers that we could help me through this confusing and challenging time i my life I fell in love with org., value and missio of entired organiation. Think the second time around she found it harded to have control I wanted to be a supermom and pinterest crafts and dinner and trying to do it all with the second child, reality just hit me really hard I think, Brandy was surprised to learn that her mother did not breastfeed. I am a planner because things don’t come naturally and I like to practice at things. Because I could not practice breastfeeding ahead of time, to so I read and researched and took classes, taking notes, highlighting articles. I had pictures and arrows and diagrams. I was really nervouse about not being able to “get it” largely because I could not practice it first. With all of my anxiety, my early breastfeeding, it went so easy. It was comfortable, my baby thrived, gain well and met all developmental milestones. I returned back to work at 10 weeks and this was another transitioned that she became anxious about. Listen to the show as Brandy shares how she prepared for this next transition.
Jan tells us how her childhood experiences, specifically her relationship with her mother, paved the way for her future as a psychotherapist. She describes herself as a late bloomer, in more ways than one. For example, she enrolled in Graduate School when she was 48. Jan describes how she felt when her mother told her that at 3 weeks old, Jan rejected her as she did not want to breastfeed. She shares some intimate moments related to breastfeeding her babies and how shocked she was that breastfeeding was very different with her second baby than with her first. Jan talks about the difficulty she had breastfeeding her son as she suffered with postpartum depression. She felt devastated by this and needed to get help for her depression. Jan shares her mother guilt about how her postpartum depression affected all areas of mothering her son. She also talks about her role as a Library Program Coordinator and facilitator trainer in Mom-mentum and what this means to her.
Kate is from Ohio and still lives there. She is the oldest of 3 girls. My father was a phys ed teacher and a coach.- Typical family structure I grew up in. Traditional family structure with the father that goes to work and the mother that says at home. I was the athlete in the family. My father taught me how to fix cars. I would mow the lawns and I would travel with him to tennis matches and he also taught me to fix cars. I remember we went on vacations with the money my moter saved. My mother was an avid couponer with the basement filled with her coupons which were labeled and categorized and this is the money we used to go away on vacations. Kate tells us that her mother and grandmother did not breastfeed and while they were supportive of her desire to breastfeed, they did not know how to really help and support her. She entertains us with many stories of her breastfeeding days with all 3 of her children, from very difficult breastfeeding start with her first baby to a very easy, pain free, carefree breastfeeding experience with her third child. As the Executive Director of Mom-mentum, Kate tells us about her initial interest in joining the group, the positive impact it had on her role as a mother and how this led to her current role within Mom-mentum. I am very excited to learn about all the projects Mom-mentum is working on and that the organization is alive and kicking so 40 years later to be there for mothers and families. What she has loved being able to do this last year is working on is supporting and growing Mothers Groups. We are piloting a programming in Toledo, Ohio with a local MC group with a couple of organizations that service youg others who have yet to graduate HS we are working on useing a grant and is taking trained MC faciliators and give them back through them offering facilitated groups. with these younger mothers. It is spreading their mission and goal to spread the news that everyone has these challenges and everyone has succeses. and that it is really good to talk about them.we are taking ourm others who are interested in getting back to the work force and finding an experience that can pay them through the skills that they learn through their MC groups. I am Really hoping to build that program. We are seeking funding for this. Feel free to contact Kate Finiske for funding info.
Lori talk about how badly she needed to find a peer support group of other New mothers in her community. She talks about the excitement and joy of being a new mother and at the same time of being lonely once she stayed home all day with her daughter. She did not have any mom friends in her neighborhood and craved the friendship and support of other moms. Lori shares the lengths she went to so that she could find her peer group and how she finally found her way to Mothers Center groups.
Julia grew up in a family with one brother. She really had no idea what she wanted to do as a career when she grew up. She did always know that she wanted to be a Mom. She decided to take on the challenge of law school and this is what she did before opening up the birth center. Julia is the Executive Director of Babymoon Inn, which is a free standing birth center in Phoenix, Arizona. Her first breastfeeding experience was really hard and quite painful. She did get through it and it worked out. With her other 3 children breastfeeding went fairly easy and she was grateful for this. Julia talks about how she practices child led weaning. As the Owner of Babymoon Inn a free standing birthing center in Phoenix, AZ, she has the pleasure of meeting and working with hundreds of families who take the tour of the birthing center and decide to received midwifery care and plan on a birth at the Center. Julia shares times when she has witnessed breastfeeding mothers respond to calls to action of offering their pumped milk and donating it to moms in need. She shares with us all the services that the birthing center provides to the community, which include classes for birth all the way through postpartum, as well as fun classes for moms and babies.
Lori worked Full time for quite a few years before becoming pregnant with her first baby. She was very excited for her baby to be born and really looked forward to the time she should be staying home with her baby during her maternity leave. Lori is quite crafty and loves to cook, however, working Full time did not allow her to spend time becoming really good at a few of the crafts that she was teaching herself. She had several projects that were long and drawn out and other projects she was aching to start. Lori assumed that there would be plenty of time to work on these, during her babies nap time. She worked right up to the day of her due date. It took another 3 full weeks for Alisha to be born and during that time she took care of all loose ends and was truly ready for this birth. Alisha was born on June 27th and discharged from the hospital when she was 3 days old. Lori talks about the first few weeks postpartum and how the death of her beloved grandmother during this time impacted her postpartum experience.
Anastasia had a planned homebirth with a midwife in attendance. She gave birth to a beautiful daughter named Vivian. She was awake and active and yet remained very uninterested in breastfeeding her first 24 hours of life. Each time she was brought to the breast, she showed no interest in sucking. This began a very long journey with major breastfeeding struggles. Poor feeds and several bouts of vomiting up any milk she had taken in from a bottle, sent Anastasia and her husband Matt to the hospital with Vivian. This began what turned out to be quite a few months of pumping and bottlefeeding. Anastasia spent quite a few months working with Vivian, trying to help her learn how to breastfeed. The night in the hospital and seeing her newborn with tubes and wires, Anastasia talks about feeling scared. She was traumatized and now lacked the confidence that her baby would get enough milk from breastfeeding. She talks about how her emotional health was greatly affected by how hard breastfeeding was. She shares some of her deepest and darkest feelings and how she finally overcame such a difficult start to new motherhood and early breastfeeding and how she came to enjoy breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is so normal for us now and so easy. Vivian is 17 months old now and she nurses 3 or 4 times a day. It is so completely normal and I don’t even think about it much anymore, in the sense of worrying and having it take over my day.
Lori will be sharing her personal experience when she nursed her first baby, in public for the very first time. If you would like to share your “My first time” story with our listeners, go tocontact me page and send us your story. We will share your story on our website and perhaps read it out loud on a show – with your permission, of course!
Fiona shares her journey into becoming an IBCLC. Like so many of us who came into this profession, it was the birth of her first son that sparked her interest in helping other mothers breastfeed. When she was in the UK, Fiona worked in maternal health. The standard of care at that time was for moms to breastfeed for 6 weeks. She was living in Toronto at the time she had her first baby. The expectation was for her to breastfeed for 6 weeks. Fiona shares in detail how she broke that mold, went on to breastfeed longer than expected and increased her breastfeeding knowledge as she had more babies and grew into motherhood. Fiona gives very detailed information on the roles and titles of the various breastfeeding helpers and how she has been able to clearly define the roles to mothers she meets. We also learn how a chance meeting with a representative from GOLD Online led to her current position with GOLD.
Not knowing anyone who breastfed their baby, or never having seen another woman breastfeed her baby, I had no frame of reference , no role models in the breastfeeding arena. There was 1 book on the library shelf and it was The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, written by a group of woman from La Leche League. I did not get this book until after my daughter was born. So, the breastfeeding class was the only place I received information on preparing for breastfeeding and what to expect when my baby was born. There were many days and nights that were filled with painful breastfeeding and major sleep deprivation. I learned a lot along the way. Humor was helpful. My baby getting bigger was helpful. It took us a while, but soon breastfeeding became enjoyable and easy. Through my experience I learned to work hard to not judge another mother for the choices she makes. We are all doing the best we can. I choose to focus on education and support.
Come along with us on Tressa’s breastfeeding Journey. She shares with us personal stories of the early days of breastfeeding her first baby, breastfeeding during a pregnancy, what life was like tandem nursing, night weaning her toddler and child – led weaning with both her girls. Tressa really gives us a window into her early mothering days and humbles us as she shares her personal story of going through postpartum depression and how she helped herself get through it.
As a lactation consultant, I have long since recognized the lack of information mothers have about breastfeeding. Not only about early breastfeeding difficulties, but also how this impacts their postpartum lifestyle. Breastfeeding comes fairly easy for some mothers and I want them to know that it may not come easy for your sister or best friend. I want you to know that you can be of great help to them. You can provide emotional support, practical help and suggest they seek professional help. For some mothers, early breastfeeding is more challenging than they thought it would be. It is very emotional and exhausting for some mothers. When this happens, we tend to become very overwhelmed, isolate ourselves and some mothers become depressed.